Well this is me unfortunately.

Hello, this is Cristina.  I am fasting today.  If I must eat anything I will drink a soup equal to 50 cals.  As far as drinks I am going to drink unlimited water, tea, and diet soda :).  Feeling good about today.  This morning I woke up and took a picture of my from the front view, and side view, in a sports bra and panties.  I looked like a cow!! So gross :(.  I'm not ready to post it yet.  But I will soon.  I know it is the first step to looking beautiful.  I get this giddy feeling when I imagine taking the same picture when I am at my goal weight :)!  I can throw darts at the pictures that I just took, lmao.  I am demented but oh well..  I am feeling hunger pains. It feels great.  That means I know it is working.  In the last two months I have lost a little over ten pounds.  I can barely tell a difference besides I have less of a disgusting double chin.  My all time high weight was: 167 pounds :(.  Wow.  It feels weird to say that, I don't ever tell anyone my weight. You can do this Crissy! Okay, my current nasty ass weight is 154 D: ick!!  Better than 167 but not much.  I have been exercising, eating almost nothing, and taking green tea supplements.. I am losing so slowly though.  Time to step up my game guys! I am so ready.  This blog will be my motivation.  I am 5'5 and 18 years old.  These are supposed to be my feeling sexy days! Not my pigout disgusting, should hide my head in the sand days!  I am an outgoing person, but my weight and depression has been hindering this lately :/.  Ever since I started taking saraquel and zoloft about a year ago I ballooned!  The smallest i have ever been at this height was 132.  And I was so cute and small!! I want to be skinny again, but skinnier than that.  Bones are beautiful.  I want to be bones.  People don't like fat girls :(.  My goal weight is 120 at the moment :).  I read somewhere that the ideal model weight for a girl at 5'5 is 114 pounds.  So after I hit my goal weight I will lower it.  I will never stop trying to achieve my goals!! ugh, off to go to life stuff. -Crissy shadows