I am a FAILURE at life.

So today I was doing pretty well on my fast.  At first.  I was trying to distract myself from eating, so I went out shopping with my grandma.  I got some really cute outfits and two pairs of boots!!  I also got some hair dye because my roots are starting to show.  Ickk.  Since I have been out of work for the last two weeks (I burned the hell out of my feet with a pot of boiling water!)  I have been so broke :/.. Anywho.  I got back to my boyfriends house tonight around 8pm.  Then that is when i did it.. I ate half a container of eggdrop sooup with about a cup of fried rice.  I feel so full and disgusting I want to throw up.  I refuse to purge though.  I refuse.  I did go and take some emergency laxatives..  I know it won't help much.  But it does make me feel better knowing I did something about it!!  I walked a lot while shopping today but haven't had time to do any official exercising.  I'll wait until everyone goes to sleep and then do some yoga or cardio videos.